Teasing. Booing. Bullying. Kicking. Spanking. Nagging. Dragging. Boxing. Tediousness in Bahay-bahayan.

There are still more of the many hurting moments we had back then. These are lavish torments of childhood memories which we can’t escape. As such, kiss-and-tell was not a recipe after every lavishness. We did not have time to say sorry for all the wrongs but time just healed those frantic moments. But all are no-nonsense things for they are part of being grown-ups. Innocence always surprises us whenever it gets into our mind that those hysterias are for nothing but kiddie tune-ups perfecting our roles to adulthood. And, reliving those innocent things today is just sweet and very special as we see each of our siblings growing up and doing mature roles as we never did.

Conflicts in younger years often arise. From a developmental perspective, Gene H. Brody in his article Sibling Relationship Quality: Its Causes and Consequences for the Annual Review Psychology Journal (1998) discloses that such issue has special significance for several reasons. First, with an increasing number of parents employed full time, many siblings provide care for their younger brothers and sisters. Conflict in sibling relationships thus can make it less likely that younger siblings will receive prosocial and responsive care. Second, data collected suggest not only that the quality of the sibling relationship is stable from middle childhood into adolescence, but that rivalrous feelings originating between siblings in childhood persist well into adulthood and are associated with the closeness of adult sibling relationships.

Today, my innocent years remind me being an actor in a role play which I always had been a protagonist who does melodrama when being scathed and pissed off by my older sibs. Commonly, we always end up fighting because we don’t want our older sibs do things to us we don’t like or which we don’t want to. Calling for mama or papa’s attention or help is always the last thing we do to regain helpless self. Not much to surmise, online Encyclopedia of Psychology notes on birth order that jealousy, resentment, and competition are most intense between siblings spaced less than three years apart. It is true that this accounts in most cases as I experienced. I grew up in a family where there was always exasperation at being outlasted by older sibling. There were those never-ending yelling and kung-fu fighting. They were for nothing but mere calling of attention. Child plays always invited differences and misunderstanding among sibs. Division of household chores was another common cause to such which always gave a wary feeling to younger sibs being outdone by the older. But all these, at the end of the day, ended up with a sound sleep and another new morning which was as normal as if nothing had happened a day or so before. Gene, in his discourse, agreed that sibling relationship has great significance as a contributor to family harmony or disharmony and to the patterns that individual children’s development takes within the family.

Along with the oddity in childhood days are memories we always laugh at. Even then, it is still cumbersome to talk about those past childhood memories. You can hardly tell your sibs that you were this and that before; we just have wanted those memories be part of our biological amnesia. But saving the last memory of childhood days is worthwhile, not a lesson to revile. Knowing how you miss so much your siblings after years of being away from each other is something we internally outspeak along maturity. For Gene, an understanding of the origins of sibling relationship quality is therefore important, given the degree to which siblings can serve as sources of mutual emotional support across the life span.

All these mature years I have, I learn to laugh out loud for those wonderful childhood memories. They all bring in me a closer relationship with my siblings without telling them to remember the what-you-had-done-to-me things. Just like any other happy siblings, I always look forward to that one happy day when my brothers, sisters and I will be reunited once again.

Thanks to looking forward for that one great morning with a family complete with siblings who differ in many ways, but now, for good. #

To my dear sisters, Ruchell and Rhezzil, older & younger, respectively, who celebrate their birthday on the same date, February 18, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope the innocence of time is always taking us to a more wonderful family journey and kinship. Take care!