Yep! It's not about what he says per se but it is all about the essence deeply toned in the context of the word friends.

(Credit to the rightful owner of the photo)

It has been sometimes that I never felt the way I used to, that is, surrounded by friends, making boisterous laughter, going to perks and pops, and much of more than simple acquaintances. Shortly, I’m missing friends and life will never be the same.

Friends are birthed in many ways. We may have childhood friends. Some others got mutual friends. Many might have friends from different neighborhoods. Most might have gotten friends from their workplaces. Friends come in different sizes and in different packages. Commonest between these qualities and quantities is always tied to lifelong companionship. From the very onset of friendship, in ourselves we create a sense of completeness. In his humanistic psychology, Abraham Maslow noted the hierarchical journey of how we are motivated to supplement and/or supplant necessities in our lives and one of these is immersing ourselves to what we need socially.

Taking a biological account of friendship, it always starts with seeding. We throw the best smile we have hoping somehow that this gesture would eventually grow into a simple acquaintance. Then begins saying the simplest hi and hello. The next time it will be stemming up to knowing names etc. Eventually, it will bloom and will come to fruition adding more friends along the way. The very necessity is that this metamorphosis should be rooted on understanding. This is what Karen Karbo, novel author whose three works were named New York Times Notable Books, opines, The conventional wisdom is that we choose friends because of who they are. But it turns out that we actually love them because of the way they support who we are.

But what are friends for? Mark Vernon, an English writer, journalist, and author of some philosophy books on friendship points out that a tremendous burden is being placed on friendship: more and more is being asked of this voluntary, informal, personal relationship. For example, it is commonplace for sociologists to note that institutions like marriage, kinship, class, unions and corporations are loosing their stickiness. As their power to hold society together moderates, so, they say, people are turning to friendship to support them and secure their sense of place in the world. In a rational world, we develop considerable reasons on why we want friends. Basically, we need friends for companionship. We need friends because we want to be connected and we never wanted being left out. We need friends for security. We need friends to uplift our weakened self, cheer us up, motivate, and comfort us. We need friends to do favor. We need friends because we are looking forward for somebody whom we can share our privies and personal inhibitions.

On a more deductive note, I got a few select friends. I never had any childhood friends. In the many workplaces I had been into, I enjoyed temporal friendships. A year or two, we got simple bonding and reunions. Before, I, at least, shortly got pats on shoulder; now, there is no likelihood of getting a friend to start a new bond. Before, I used to get along with my buddies, not every day anyway; now, I do take a little glimpse of people I meet by their eyes. Before, I had friends who were at my age; now, I succumb to groping with everybody in a workplace of gentlemen and serious-at-40. Dusting off the way you used to do is remorse to begin anew. Today, aside from being picky, people look for affluence, but more than affluence they want to sense right away trustworthiness from you. Now that I am bound by cultural differences, looking for friends is like peeping on the button hole. In a country not like ours, we seldom get friends because we have opposite poles and it is never like a magnet. Language is always a barrier. Commonness of idea, the what-you-got, reservations, easiness, racial disposition and a lot more are often the poles that set apart.

While my friends are left with all the great companies, all I can do for them is give a call or text once in a while just to let them remember that I’m still wanting to be part of the circle. I need to wish them the most of good lucks just to keep my wanting spirit be with them. Sending special gifts and other stuffs are just some associations or manifestations of telling them that I am still the closest among their friends. Spending sometimes for them is somewhat better while I am waiting here for a new friend to come along and invite me a cup of refreshing tea. It is not dismissing my old friends but rather adding a new loop to widen my circle.

True and it is no delight that moving out from what was once your comfort zone always puts you in a dilemma. In friendship there is always this resentment, that of goodbye. The move is not a choice but a consequence of a selfless journey for betterment. Yes, it is my choice to leave my friends back home because I want a better life. But my life isn’t better without the spark of friendship; in every thing it takes two to tango.

Friends come and go and we never wanted this cycle to happen. Just like the season, it's also evanescent. Whether we struggle every day looking for new ones, it's always a boon to tell when. So, treasure your friends and count them one by one if they are still completing the beads in your circle.

A commercial says, Life can't wait! But who will? I can’t grab somebody and force him to be my friend, but every day is an open space for one to come in. Wherever we go we only anchor ourselves to wishful thinking that we may not always be alone, that one day we can gain new friends. It is always a predicament; no man is an island. I hope I can.

To my dear friend, Jenny Vergara, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope you always create in you a selfless journey to getting more friends inspiring them all the way like you always do. Take care! #